Going into my first Iowa Party caucus, I knew it would be a bit confusing. No matter how many times someone explains the process or how many instructional videos you watch, you will never know unless you actually do it. Iowans tell me that once they try it, they understand how it works and why it is a valuable method of election. So, despite the fact that many journalists choose not to participate in party primaries, and many news organizations do not give reporters the option to participate in party primaries at all, I decided to participate in party primaries.

And now that I have done it, I hope I never do it again.

The party caucus in my precinct was as well run as one could reasonably expect. It wasn't until I got home at 10pm and turned on CNN that I learned of any confusion regarding procedures or delays in reporting results statewide. There was ample space and seating, and while our venue did not have enough (or any) snacks, there was a 24-hour donut shop in the building.

Several of the first-time attendees, myself included, were genuinely warmed to the communal experience of the caucus. As we waited to check in, I recognized a man who teaches ballet at a local dance school, a man I had never seen before.

"It's nice to see people from the community coming together for something," a woman named Veronica told me as she stood in the donut shop with friends after the initial line-up. People's first-choice ballots were tallied, the two candidates, Sanders and Warren, had enough people in their respective districts, and their supporters were allowed to go home. It was a raucous social event, but Veronica felt a sense of solidarity as she sat for an hour with hundreds of fellow Bernie Sanders supporters.

And it is also worth asking who in the community is not allowed to come out: despite the ADA's considerations, rallies are difficult for people with disabilities (opens in new tab). It's hard for people who work late or have to get up early to work (they have to be in line for a rally by 7 p.m., but the process can take several hours). It's hard for people who are caregivers or who can't bring their children with them but can't afford to pay for a sitter (opens in new tab). Difficult for those who want to exercise their right to vote, but who can make time to go to the polls on Monday but cannot devote hours in the evening to listen to a proxy's speech or coax others to vote for a candidate.

And while some find solidarity, others feel peer pressure. Women in particular feel compelled to participate in party elections in a way that does not offend the men closest to them." husband = We already know that blockades (open in new tab) make it difficult for women preparing for party elections to participate in campaigns. What will happen to the women on election night, when there is no privacy like a secret ballot?

Since I moved here a year and a half ago, I have expressed concern about what the lack of secret ballots would mean for women (Democratic women, Republicans have secret ballots). In response, I have been told repeatedly that there is something special, something pure and inspiring about having their commitment to a candidate made public. But there is nothing inherently moral, and certainly nothing democratic, about a system that adds the risk of public or intimate intimidation to the many barriers to voting that already exist.

Veronica's friends Kristen and Josh, who are married, voted for different candidates: she voted for candidate Warren and Josh, along with other friends, voted for candidate Sanders. She voted for candidate Warren and Josh, along with other friends, voted for candidate Sanders. Kristen did not feel any peer pressure to vote with her husband, but was encouraged that there were couples of the same gender in the Warren section." We weren't the only ones."

Despite the well-run venue, the turnout was large, with people flooding the lobby and lining up in the cold to wait to check in.

Just inside the auditorium, where the voting took place, I met Claire, a geology major at the University of Iowa who was attending for the first time. She had an early Tuesday morning, and her candidate, Batty Gigg, was not the leading candidate in the initial lineup. Like about 250 others, she was up against a realignment and hoped she and her fellow supporters could convince a few more Iowans to vote their way. (4]

Lack of privacy, time constraints, and the requirement to go to the polls in person make voting rallies inconvenient for many. The system is broken without having to report problems with the app or delays in determining results.

There has to be a better way. A better, more inclusive way. If Iowa continues to vote first, and many argue that it shouldn't (opens in new tab), at least we can ensure that some of us aren't second-class.

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